By: Nur Syamila Kamarul Arefin
Not all women are able to engage in sexual intercourse, and this is caused by a condition that is unknown to many. This largely unknown condition is known as vaginismus.
Vaginismus is a condition experienced by many women, and it often causes difficulty in conceiving. Vaginismus is a condition where a couple, husband and wife, cannot engage in sexual intercourse.
Unknowingly, this emotionally impacts the couple as it may create apprehension or fear towards sexual intercourse and affect the relationship between husband and wife. As a result, women often have low self-esteem and detrimental mental health issues that gravely affect them if not treated.
This occurs due to a wife’s fear of engaging in sexual intercourse, mainly caused by listening to peers who claim that sexual intercourse is painful. In addition, most patients say they are apprehensive due to their extreme fear.
This extreme fear leads patients to have vaginal muscle spasms or tightening during sexual intercourse.
According to Siti Fatimah Abdul Ghani, Senior Psychology Officer, Human Resource Service Division, Universiti Putra Malaysia (UPM), this condition is closely associated with the mental and psychological state of married women who are influenced by anxiety and fear of engaging in sexual intercourse, have been a victim of sexual assault, have been forced to engage in sexual intercourse and have experienced childbirth.
“Those suffering from this condition must first endure psychiatry treatment as it affects physical intimacy with their spouse.
“A woman suffering from this condition should mentally prepare herself and not consider this as a sign of weakness that affects their daily life. This condition only occurs when a person is being intimate with her spouse. However, this person still has a full life in all other aspects.
“Do not overthink this as it will cause depression. Even though a person is married, sexual intercourse is not the only key to happiness. Many other things could be achieved with the husband,” she said.
According to her, a husband is the closest individual to a wife who will provide strength and positive reinforcements to help her overcome this condition.
She added that a husband should understand the wife’s medical condition and why she cannot engage in sexual intercourse.
Due to a husband’s lack of understanding and derogatory societal stigma, a wife will have grave concerns in engaging intimately with her spouse. Moreover, self-doubt will also cause her to avoid it constantly.
“Regardless of the medical condition, we require mental and emotional support, especially from the husband, to ensure that the wife benefits positively and stays motivated.”
She further explained that if this condition is left untreated, it will cause severe depression towards the patient’s surroundings, triggering the condition.
She said the purpose of a marriage is not only about engaging in sexual intercourse but also about joint responsibility, sharing life, ups and downs and facing other obstacles together.
“For a husband unable to accept his wife’s weakness, happiness will cease to exist, or their marriage will be negatively affected.
“As a husband, assist your wife in her recovery and appreciate her instead of divorcing her due to the condition she is experiencing. Accept your spouse’s strengths and weaknesses fully.
To all the women fighting against this condition, rely on yourself as you have it in you to overcome it, other than relying on the doctor’s treatment. Do not feel insecure and believe that a good husband will accept you for who you are.” - UPM
